Harry Potter meets Lord of the Rings
by InchySquinchy
Summary: What would happen if some of the HP charactors met the Fellowship?? Read and find out- muahahaha!
1. Chapter One MiddleEarth

CHAPTER ONE- MIDDLE EARTH  
  
Harry Potter rolled over in bed and found he was not in bed at all, but laying on a grassy hill with the sun shining down into his eyes. Confused, he sat up, staring ahead. He was in a strange land he had never seen before.  
  
"Harry?" He glanced over and saw his best friend, Ron Weasley, looked equally confused. He then saw that there were others asleep on the hill. Ron's twin brothers Fred and George, his Godfather Sirius Black, his mortal rival Draco Malfoy, Dobby the House-Elf, the headmaster of his school Albus Dumbledore, and last but not least the Spanish Inquisition.  
  
**WHAT?! NO! NOT THE SPANISH INQUISITION GET THEM OUT OF HERE THEY ARE NOT IN THIS STORY!**  
  
The Spanish Inquisition suddenly disappeared.  
  
**THANK YOU!**  
  
You are welcome. Can I continue?  
  
**YES**  
  
Harry slowly sat up, feeling thoroughly confused. "Ron what are you doing here? What are they doing here? What is going on?!" He demanded.  
  
"I don't know. One minute I was asleep in bed and the next- poof- here. Hey wake up." He poked Fred and George and they snorted, sitting up.  
  
"Weird!" They both exclaimed. When they spoke, they woke the others up.  
  
"What the--?!" Sirius demanded.  
  
"What in blazes?!?!" Draco shrieked.  
  
"Harry, sir! What is going on?" Dobby squeaked.  
  
"Interesting. Very interesting." Dumbledore said, stroking his beard. Harry stood up and looked around, taking in the greenness of it all. He noticed a small black dot on the horizon moving closer to them.  
  
"Looks like someone is coming." He said.  
  
"I want to know what am I doing with you guys!" Draco demanded, stomping his foot.  
  
"I think the important thing to find out right now is what we are doing here, where here is and how we got here." Harry said, shielding his eyes and looking into the distance but he could still not tell who the people were coming were.  
  
"Let's wait for them." Fred suggested so they sat down, watching the dots moving closer. Time passed and the sun went further into the sky. Finally the people moving were so close, they could see who they were.  
  
There were nine of them, led by a wizard who looked remarkably like Dumbledore. Behind him was a very short brown-haired person. Beside him was another short person leading a horse. Behind the horse was a man who looked a lot like Sirius. Behind him were a fair-haired man and two more short people. Then behind them was a man not as short as the short people but still short. Lastly was an extremely tall blonde man.  
  
"Looks... weird." Ron put in, looking at-  
  
**THEY LOOK WEIRD?! YOU'RE THE ONES WHO SUDDENLY APPEARED IN THE MIDDLE OF- **  
  
Hey! This is MY story! You made me take out the Spanish Inquisition-  
  
**FOR GOOD REASON! THIS IS A SILLY STORY AND KEEPING IN THE SPANISH INQUISITION WILL JUST MAKE IT EVEN MORE!**  
  
Can I PLEASE continue?  
  
***SIGH* ALL RIGHT, CONTINUE'**  
  
Thank you. Now where was I?  
  
"Me." Ron said. Oh yes, thank you. "Welcome." Ron said with a smile. He looked at the oncoming people and shrugged. Soon the people were at the bottom of the hill, looking up at them.  
  
"This has to be a nightmare or something." Draco groaned, glaring at Harry who glared right back.  
  
"Hey you!" The wizard in front called.  
  
"Should we go down?" George asked.  
  
"Might as well." So they headed down the hill and came face to face with the group.  
  
"And whore are you?" The wizard asked, leaning on his staff.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore. And you?"  
  
"Gandalf the Grey. You look familiar."  
  
"Yes. you do too." Dumbledore replied.  
  
"What are you doing in these lands?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"We're not sure. All of us just. woke up. On that hill." Dumbledore said.  
  
"Strange." Gandalf commented. "Are you a wizard?"  
  
"We all are. Except him." Dumbledore pointed to Dobby. "He is an elf."  
  
"He most certainly is not." Said the tall blonde who, Harry just noticed, had pointed ears.  
  
"I is, sir, I is!" Dobby said. The blonde looked completely disgusted but the bearded man was laughing.  
  
"Oh that is so funny!" He exclaimed, leaning against his axe to hold himself up. The blonde guy scowled at him.  
  
"It is not."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"Legolas, Gimli, quiet." The man who looked like Sirius said, and then stepped forward. "Name yourselves." He commanded.  
  
"Uh. Harry Potter." Harry said slowly, glancing at the man's drawn sword.  
  
"Ron, Fred and George Weasley." Ron said pointing at himself and his brothers.  
  
"Draco Malfoy."  
  
"Dobby, sir. Dobby the house-elf."  
  
"Sirius Black."  
  
"And I have already said my name. Who are you?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn." The man who had commanded them to tell their names said.  
  
"Boromir." The other man with a sword said.  
  
"Legolas from the Mirkwood forest." The blonde said, still scowling at Dobby.  
  
"Gimli, son of Glóin." The bearded one with an axe growled out.  
  
"Frodo Baggins." The short brown-haired one said from beside Gandalf.  
  
"Samwise Gamgee."  
  
"Meridoc Brandybuck."  
  
"Peregrin Took." The three other short ones introduced themselves.  
  
"And." Dumbledore said slowly, obvious trying to choose his words properly. "What is this land place called?"  
  
"This particular land or the whole entire thing?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"The whole." Dumbledore said.  
  
"Why Middle-Earth of course." Boromir said with a laugh.  
  
"How come I get the feeling we're not in England anymore?" Ron asked.  
  
"Because we're not." Harry replied, looking very nervous. 


	2. Chapter Two Elevensie

CHAPTER TWO- ELEVENSIE  
  
"Middle-Earth??" Sirius demanded.  
  
"Yes. Where did you THINK you were?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"I-the-but-" Sirius stopped and thought for a moment. "Okay maybe this a dream."  
  
"That we are all experiencing?" Fred asked, folding his arms.  
  
"We could be." Dumbledore said with a smile.  
  
"This is just great. I go to bed and wake up to find not only am I not home or in England- but I am with Potter, a bunch of Weasleys, an accused murderer, Dumbledore, a stupid house-elf and nine weird freaky people!" Draco growled.  
  
"Shut your trap, Malfoy." George snapped.  
  
"He is NOT an elf." Legolas said.  
  
"But I is, sir! I is!" Dobby squeaked, hiding behind Harry.  
  
"We must be going. Good luck finding your way back to. wherever you came from." Gandalf said.  
  
"Wait, Gandalf. How do we know they are not spies for Sauron?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"We're not 'spies' for anyone." Sirius snapped.  
  
"And we are supposed to believe you?" Aragorn demanded.  
  
"Yeah!" Sirius snapped back. The two glared ferociously at each other when suddenly a cucumber and tomato appeared and the-  
  
**STOP THE STORY!**  
  
What did I do NOW?!  
  
**WE ARE NOT HAVING VEGGIETALES!**  
  
But Larry is so cute!  
  
**NO VEGGIETALES! TAKE THEM OUT!**  
  
Oh you're no fun anymore. Okay. The two glared ferociously at each other, when the short one named Meriodoc stepped forward.  
  
"How about we just sit down and have a nice Elevensies?"  
  
"Good idea Merry." Peregrin said, grinning.  
  
"Thank you Pippin." Merry replied with an equally wide grin.  
  
"We must keep going. Who knows how close the spies of Sauron could be." Gandalf said.  
  
"They could be right here." Aragorn said, glaring at the eight.  
  
"If you don't stop glaring at me, I'll make you." Sirius snarled at him.  
  
"Go right on ahead." Aragorn said, drawing out his sword.  
  
"Why don't we all sit down and eat?" Pippin asked, staring at a frying pan hopefully.  
  
"Yes. Eat." Merry said, nodding furiously so in the end, an Elevensies was cooked and the seventeen sat about eating.  
  
"So are you two related or something?" Fred asked Merry, indicating Pippin who was gobbling his food just as fast as Ron was his.  
  
"Sort of." Merry said.  
  
"So, how come you're so short?" George asked Samwise.  
  
"I am a hobbit." Samwise replied.  
  
"Oh a HOBBIT." George said with a laugh. "Wait, that's something you do often that you like. Or is it something you do without knowing?"  
  
"HOBBIT!" Samwise snapped. "Not hobby or habit. Hobbit."  
  
"So where are you heading?" Gandalf asked Dumbledore.  
  
"Home, hopefully." The other wizard replied.  
  
"I think we're having an eating contest over here." Frodo laughed, looking at Ron and Pippin.  
  
"You're not an elf. You don't look anything LIKE an elf." Legolas was informing Dobby.  
  
"But I am an elf, sir. I am!" Dobby exclaimed, serving Harry his food.  
  
"That's a better elf then you." Gimli said with a laugh.  
  
"Say that again and you shall find an arrow in your head." Legolas said, with his eyes narrowed. The seventeen otherwise ate in complete peace. Until they got down to the last bit of food which Ron and Pippin fought over. While they were fighting, Merry ate it and the Elevensie was over.  
  
"Well, we must be going." Gandalf said, peering into the distance.  
  
"Do you have an idea how we could get back home?" Dumbledore asked, brushing crumbs off his beard. Whilst the two conversed, Sirius and Aragorn were once more glaring at each other.  
  
"Wave that sword at me again and I'll-"  
  
"You'll what?" Aragorn demanded.  
  
"Sirius." Harry stepped forward.  
  
"He's the one rushing around poking swords at people." Sirius grumbled.  
  
"I do not!" Aragorn snapped.  
  
"Bet he can't even fight without his sword."  
  
"I can." Aragorn hissed.  
  
"Sirius PLEASE, don't start anything." Harry begged.  
  
"It's already started." Aragorn threw aside his sword and held up his fists.  
  
"Sirius." Harry begged but Sirius was rolling up his sleeves. "Dumbledore!" He called. Dumbledore glanced over and sighed. He walked over and placed himself between the two.  
  
"Yes you better not fight, Aragorn. He is an amazing fighter." Frodo said. Harry felt slightly hurt.  
  
"Sirius is a good fighter."  
  
"Good but not as good as Aragorn." Frodo said. Harry turned towards him.  
  
"Sirius could easily beat Aragorn."  
  
"Aragorn could beat him with his hands tied behind his back."  
  
"Oh yeah?!"  
  
"Yes." The two glared at each other.  
  
"Please we musn't fight! They just fed us." Dumbledore said.  
  
"Though this guy ate most of it." Samwise said, looking at Ron.  
  
"Hardly!"  
  
"HARDLY?!"  
  
"Yes. Hardly." Ron said delicately, folding his arms. Suddenly they were all caught up in a stampede of African animals all heading to see the birth of the new lion-  
  
**NO!**  
  
No?  
  
**NO!!!!!**  
  
Oh. okay. Fine. Then I guess this is the end of the chapter.  
  
**FINE JUST NO LION KING!**  
  
No Lion King, no VeggieTales, no Spanish Inquistion.  
  
**THAT IS CORRECT!**  
  
Party pooper.  
  
**I HEARD THAT!**  
  
Who the heck are you anyway?!  
  
**YOU'LL FIND OUT LATER.**  
  
Hmph. 


	3. Chapter Three The Battle

CHAPTER THREE- THE BATTLE  
  
No Lion King, no VeggieTales no Spanish Inquistion. Who ARE you anyway?!?!  
  
**I SHALL TELL YOU WHEN THE STORY IS DONE! NOW CONTINUE WE HAVE PEOPLE READING!**  
  
We do?  
  
**YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**  
  
Oh! We do! Heh, heh. Where was it? Oh yes. Sirius and Aragorn glared each other down, both ready to fight. Harry and Frodo were glaring at each other, and Ron and Samwise were glaring at each other. The air was tense, and obviously there was going to be a fight. But who started it would shock everyone.  
  
"I AM SO AN ELF!" Dobby flung himself at Legolas and bit his leg.  
  
"AG!" Legolas shrieked and tried shaking the thing off of him but Dobby felt tight. This seemed to cue the other fights. No one was ever sure who dove first. Sirius or Aragorn but within nanoseconds the two were fighting. This cued Harry and Frodo to begin their little battle. Which forced Ron and Samwise into their battle.  
  
"Go Harry and little bro!" Fred and George cheered.  
  
"They're going to lose." Merry said.  
  
"Of course." Pippin said. Fred and George looked at each other, and then tackled the two Hobbits. No one was ever sure when Dumbledore and Gandalf started fighting, but soon spells and curses were being shot at each other. On the side, Boromir, Gimli and Draco watched.  
  
"Is that a real axe?" Draco asked Gimli.  
  
"Of course it is."  
  
"Cool, let me try it."  
  
"It is no toy."  
  
"I know. I want to try it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes." And so soon those two were fighting. Boromir sat back, and watching the battles. Over where the two old wizards dueled, bushes, rocks and trees were rapidly disappearing. Some turning into animals and running, hopping or flying away. Others were blown up. And others just... plain disappearing.  
  
Meanwhile, over at Harry and Frodo's battle, both had disappeared. Harry using his Invisibility Cloak (that had appeared shortly before), and Frodo using the Ring of Power. You could see the occasional one falling and Boromir figured if you were invisible, you could see other invisible things.  
  
Over where Ron and Samwise were having it out, Samwise had gotten a frying pan and Ron a pot and lid. He used the lid as a sort of shield, and the pot to bash against the frying pan.  
  
Near by, Fred and Merry were duking it out, both totally missing the other. And George and Pippin were using firecrackers as sort of swords. George already had his firecracker with him but where Pippin got his, the world will never know.  
  
Then Legolas was trying to fling Dobby off of him, but the house-elf was scrambling all over the real elf's body, biting him. Legolas often managed to hit him but not to grab. He contemplated using his arrows as small spears but didn't want to accidentally stab himself.  
  
Then Draco and Gimli were fighting (the axe long forgotten). Draco kept pulling Gimli's beard taught and Gimli pulled Draco's hair. He kept shouting 'Not the beard!' whilst Draco screamed 'not my hair!'  
  
And finally, Aragorn and Sirius's battle. Those were the two making the most. By the end of the battle they'd both be bloody and bruised.  
  
All in all it was a humorous situation. Boromir, not having his own battle, just watched. After a while, a-  
  
**YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ADD SOMETHING STUPID ARE YOU?!**  
  
No!  
  
**ARE YOU SURE?**  
  
Yes!  
  
"I think they should, it might lighten the mood and those guys might stop fighting." Boromir said.  
  
**UM, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO IGNORE US.**  
  
"How can I ignore a huge booming voice filling the entire valley?!" Boromir demanded.  
  
**JUST IGNORE US.**  
  
"You're a-a huge booming voice! I can't!"  
  
**JUST IGNORE US!!! OR ELSE!**  
  
"Or else WHAT?!" Boromir demanded. The battles were quieted as black clouds appeared and lightning hit the tree Boromir was by. Hey, that is mean!!!!  
  
**I WARNED HIM!**  
  
"Boromir! Are you fighting with the narrator?!" Aragorn shrieked.  
  
He isn't the narrator. I am the narrator.  
  
"Then who is he?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Good question, Aragorn. Who ARE you?" The battles stopped and they stared at the odd voice. I, the narrator, did too.  
  
**I SHALL TELL YOU LATER. GO ON WITH YOUR BATTLES.**  
  
"How can we in the middle of a storm?!" George demanded.  
  
**OH. YES. SORRY.**  
  
The clouds parted and the battles started again. And I continued narrating. See. I am narrating. After a while, a. a.  
  
**A WHAT?**  
  
Heh. A scarecrow, lion, tinman, girl and do-  
  
**NO! NO! YOU PROMISED!**  
  
No I didn't! I just said-  
  
**NO WIZARD OF OZ!**  
  
It isn't the Wizard. Its-  
  
**NO!**  
  
Okay FINE! After a while, the battles continued. Better?  
  
**YES.**  
  
Can I continue?  
  
**YES.**  
  
"Take. THAT!" Pippin smacked George upside the head with a large trout that had somehow appeared.  
  
"Where'd you get that?" George asked.  
  
"I don't know. Same place I got the firecracker I suppose." Pippin said with a slight shrug of his small hobbit shoulders.  
  
"Say, you like firecrackers?" George asked.  
  
"Of course. Back in the Shire, Merry and I were always getting into trouble." Pippin boasted.  
  
"Say... imagine that. Back home Fred and I were total troublemakers. Still are."  
  
"Wow!" The two sat down and began talking. Presently, Fred and Merry saw them and joined in.  
  
"Look at those four." Gandalf said. Dumbledore lowered his wand.  
  
"Maybe we could all get along."  
  
"Yes." Gandalf said and turned to the other battles. "STOP!" He commanded. The battles froze. Harry and Frodo reappeared; Samwise had the frying pan an inch from Ron's head, who had his pot about to smash into Samwise's chest; Sirius had disappeared and there was now a dog biting Aragorn's leg. Gimli stopped pulling Draco's hair who in turn stopped pulling Gimli's beard. And Legolas finally caught Dobby and held him at arms length.  
  
"We can all get along." Dumbledore said. There was a small pop and the dog disappeared and Sirius stood up.  
  
"I guess we can."  
  
"I suppose I shouldn't of accused you of being Sauron's spies." Aragorn said. Everyone made up to everyone else and since it was so late, the hobbits and Dobby cooked up a huge, huge dinner which everyone gladly ate. 


	4. Chapter Four Cosmic Fish

CHAPTER FOUR- COSMIC FISH  
  
After dinner, everyone stood up and smiled.  
  
"We better get on our way." Gandalf said.  
  
"Yes, we as well." Dumbledore said. "If only I knew how to."  
  
**I KNOW HOW TO.**  
  
Everyone stared, including I the narrator.  
  
"You do?!" Everyone, including I the narrator, shouted.  
  
**YES. I DO.**  
  
"How?"  
  
**CLAP YOUR HANDS FIVE TIMES AND SAY HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN JIGGITY JIG**  
  
"That's it?" Ron asked.  
  
**YES.**  
  
"Hey, did you bring us here in the first place?" Fred asked.  
  
**MAYBE.**  
  
"Who are you? You promised you'd tell." Pippin said.  
  
**OH ALL RIGHT. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM?**  
  
"Yes!"  
  
**I. AM. A. FISH.**  
  
"WHAT?!  
  
Everyone stared as a fish dropped from the sky.  
  
**I AM A FISH. AN ALL KNOWING, ALL POWERFUL COSMIC FISH.**  
  
"Wow." Merry leaned over the all knowing cosmic fish.  
  
**DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT EATING ME.**  
  
"Awwwww. I'm still hungry." Pippin whined.  
  
**END THE STORY PLEASE, NARRATOR.**  
  
So after everyone bid farewell, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Sirius, Draco, Dumbledore and Dobby all clapped their hands five times and chorused: 'Home again, home again jiggedy jig'. And woke up in their beds the next day. Man that was a stupid story.  
  
**YOU NARRATED IT.**  
  
Oh shut up you stupid cosmic fish. OUCH! Hey! I'm being shocked!  
  
**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAcougcoughHAHAHAHA!**  
  
Author's note: STUPID STORY! I know but I had to write it. It was in my head and filling up valuable space. And I redid everything. Thanks for whoever reviewed this story a long time ago and reminded me Frodo has brown hair. It's been sooooo long since I read the lotr books I couldn't remember. 


End file.
